My Wives (First Wife, Wifey and Wifums) are all out in the other room, giggling and watching Benedict Sexybatch rehearse for his greatest role evar (playing me in my biopic) during his tenure as Sherlock Holmes. I only tell you this so you can fully appreciate what company I am sacrificing to write this blog post.
I asked the women in the other room what subject I should write on for my morning post, simply because I am in the right mood to write and therefore I should get this handled while the writing mood is right and...Anyway, they said, among other things, Shakespeare.
Why do I like Shakespeare so much?
I don't know. Because he was a dirty man who stealthed his jokes into existence through fancy speak? Because he tapped into the ridiculous base desires of the human conscious through the medium of intensely dirty comedy and/or tragedy?
Because I'm just a dirty-minded individual who enjoys being justified through the most famous poet evar?
I mean, let's be straight about this. Shakespeare was a card and a half. I once, during Highschool, wrote a paper critiquing a performance of his play, A Midsummer's Night Dream, as being too dirty. The justifying note from the teacher (an awesome lady with a blackbelt and a fantastic name) was 'Shakespeare was a dirty old man'. The dude had a raunchy sense of humor.
Is that why I liked him? Was, he, during my more Christian years, an outlet for the funny, sexy side of my personae, covered by the seeming social acceptance of ye indecipherable olde English? That may have been.
Or it may have been that I just thought lines like "Ah, my dear lady Disdain! Do you yet live?" were really freaking funny.
So, Shakespeare provided us with toilet humor before there was indoor plumbing. He also wrote about stories with such depth that they have continued to echo throughout our human conscious all these centuries later. And he was the master of double, triple, and quadruple entendre. And he was more open-minded about social issues--like gender equality, religious differences, racial boundaries and all of the other headliners--than many people are today. He just knew how to frame his beef in a publicly acceptable way.
I'm going back to bed.