The last few weeks have featured spotty internet and spotty casual inspiration, which has led to the radio silence that the scores (2?) of you may or may not have noticed.
But fear not: I have been hard at work. This round of novel revisions has presented to me a series of challenges that have me chomping at the bit. Character mash-ups, earlier deaths, plot twists for future tales! Woo! I can't put it down! Compliments and encouragement are awesome, but I crave a challenge. So I've been editing, printing off what I've got, editing in paper form, adjusting, and moving forward. I aim to have this round sent back to Pestritto on Rye before I get my bigger tattoo. Which will be awesome.
But all of this (among with a few side-stories I won't get into) has led to me musing on muses.
I've previously discussed First Wife, who was very much my first muse. Fiery woman with a badass history, beautiful babies, and also one of the coolest names I've ever encountered? Hells yes.
But the last year or two has led to me finding inspiration in other places, and through other people, as I've stretched my writing wings and found other interests. Art, poetry, rants combining the two. I've come to realize that I really do thrive in challenge-mode. I like having my buttons pushed. More than that, I like people who can handle what comes out of the box when those buttons are pushed.
I spent a solid portion of my life in relative silence--I come from a clan of bickerers, but I was often told to 'calm down' when I engaged in the battle. I have a natural inclination to fight, but I also have developed a genuine, silly fear of offending people. So I listened. I 'calmed down.' Because Goddess* forbid I hurt anyone's feelings by standing my ground. I'm an overly passionate person by nature, but I retreated into a dormant shell, which really only resulted in volcanic blips when I was pushed too far (usually in discussions regarding the history of fairy tales).
So I need to be pushed, but I also need to be allowed to push back. I need to release my claws from time to time. That is when I create my best work--by which I mean, the work only I can create. The stuff that sets me apart from any old bum with a pen. Because I can schlock with the best of them--I just don't see the point. If you can't pick my words out of the barrel, why did I ever write them down?
But, surely, not everyone does their thang berserker style? What shape do your muses take? What lights your fire? Does your muse have a face, at present? Do you have different muses for different crafts?
*The wives and I have dubbed Amanda Fucking Palmer** our lead Goddess. We have a hand salute and everything.
**This is Her stage name. Deal with it.