Thursday, June 20, 2013

On Brothers

Hey, Internet!

This is part II of my mini series introducing you to the main cast in my life. Part I was all about my sisters. Part II is...well, you probably read the title.


This guy is married to my older sister, and with their powers combined, they created my niece and nephew. But enough about them. Broinlaw!

This man has read more books in more genres than most people can name. Also, he knows more about Star Wars (and Stargate, and basically all things SciFi) than any other nerd I've met. And he's handy--he builds all manner of things. Carpentry things, what with the right angles and hammering and screw drivering and I don't even know what. He has made all of the market booths for Sandi Henderson Design. He made art easels for his lady and his kids, and carved little paint brushes into them, and just...I don't know. It's nuts. I am not handy-crafty and it all seems like sorcery to me. Very cool sorcery!

Broinlaw has one of the most infectious laughs I've ever heard--he has an easy sense of humor, I don't think I've ever seen him actually lose his cool, much less his temper, and he has more factoids in his back pocket than Factoid Dictionary Man. He is one of those people who makes you want to be better and more interesting than you actually are--not because he makes you feel lame, but just because you want him to hold you in high regard. He is my very cool, very supportive, disarmingly friendly older brother. Which at times gets a little weird, because he's sleeping with my sister.



Ah, Broseph. My entire life has been spent chasing after Broseph--he has this magical power that enables him to run just a few feet ahead of me, no matter how fast I am going. He is the stereotypical awesome older brother: naturally good at everything, full of deep wisdom that he dishes out in a way that makes it seem obvious, generous to a fault, and way, way taller than me.

Broseph is 16 months older than me, which means we spent our early lives doing everything together. All of my childhood stories worth telling begin with "One day, Broseph and I..."

Baseball teams, school stuff, Barbie-Meets-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle plays, you name it. We also played with rocks. No, really. We used rocks as toys.

When our parents divorced, Broseph and I spent a lot of time taking care of the three younger kids (that existed at the time). So we have the weird bond of having half-raised three kids together. A fair portion of our lunch-meets are spent discussing books, movies, and what's going on in the lives of the kids.

Broseph is another one of those people who can just electrify a room. He's got that natural leader thing going on. One of my favorite things about Broseph is his overwhelming honesty. He doesn't sugar coat things, he doesn't pander to feelings. He shoots straight without being mean. When I lose myself in a quandary, he's the one I trust most to set me back in the right direction.


Brotato is my younger brother. He has the entire 'Cars' series committed to memory, and owns the vast majority of the 'Cars' merchandise. We saw the first movie in theatres 3 times, he and I.

Brotato is also a committed Spongebob fan. If you enter Madre's house at any given time, if Brotato is present, there is a 70% likelihood that there is a yellow sponge somewhere nearby, possibly flipping Krabby Patties.

Brotato loves anything with wheels, basically. I think his version of heaven must be a car garage, with a connected Monster Truck derby. They're called derbies, right? Or am I thinking of the hat? I must be thinking of hats.

Regarding wheels, Brotato totally has them. Not attached to his body, of course (because none of his birthday wishes have panned out to that point), but in chair-form. Brotato has cerebal palsy, which means no walking, but the ladies love him. And because nature is cruel, Brotato still seems to think that girls have cooties.


I have known Bromlette since he was...uh...three? Some absurdly young age. His mother married my father, but who cares about them? This is about Bromlette.

Bromlette is my Stepbro, and he is awesome. He gives me hope for future generations. His musical taste is killer, he reads actual-factual books, he is technologically savvy, and he's tall.

When the floods come, we're going to want tall people.

Bromlette graduated from high school recently, and is going to attend college, which blows my face off, because I swear I was at his middle-school basketball game, like, last week.

I find that my philosophical views resemble Bromlette's more closely than any of my other siblings', so discussions of that nature are always fun with him. They always have been, really. He is a uniquely open-minded, non-judgmental gentleman who is capable of passionate debate sans jackassery. Ours is a rather mule-headed clan, so I have no idea how he managed to maintain that M.O. over the years.

Well done, Bromlette.

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